See Jay Es Too Too Six

AT&T

Let me preface this with the fact that I've been an AT&T wireless subscriber since 1995.  Last December (2008) I decided AT&T's U-verse was appealing enough for me to drop Time Warner (phone and internet) which I had used for at least 10 years as well as DirecTV which I had used for 6 years.  

Don't get me wrong, the internet speed is good and while the DVR is lacking some features other vendors have had for years (not just Tivo), the picture quality is great.  No, this is about customer service or the lack thereof.

The following is a rundown of my lack of customer service:

• 12/1/2008:
• Ordered Uverse which included internet, tv and phone service to be installed 12/27/2008 between 8am and noon.
• 12/26/2008:
• Received a call from AT&T that they wouldn't be able to install phone service as my current provider (Time Warner) doesn't perform phone transfers on Saturdays.  I was told internet and tv would still be installed and she would setup the installation of phone service on the 5th.  She mentioned that due to a limitation in "the system" she couldn't actually schedule it until the 29th.
• 12/27/2008:
• After no one had shown up by 11am (scheduled to arrive between 8am and noon), I called and was told they wouldn't be there until 1:30pm.  Because of this, they would not be able to finish before 6pm - a known time limitation I gave my salesperson prior to scheduling.  I then rescheduled it for the 30th and assumed phone server could now be handled at the same time.
• 12/30/2008:
• The tech showed up on time and did a good job of everything but phone.  He said it wasn't scheduled for that day so he couldn't and also saw that it wasn't scheduled for the 5th...as I was told it would be.  I then rescheduled, yet again, for phone service to be installed on the 23rd?!
• 1/1/2009:
• Morning: Happy New Year, your internet and tv is dead!  I called AT&T who said they couldn't have anyone come out until the next day.
• Night: I notice all seems to be back up but decide to wait until morning before I call AT&T to ensure it's stable.

• 1/2/2009:
• All seems fine so I call AT&T to let them know there's no need to come out.  
• About an hour later, I'm not kidding, internet and tv is dead again.  I call AT&T and, surprisingly, they can send someone out.  After working for hours, the tech fixed some issues concerning my cable down the street and also ran a new cable from the corner to my house - that will need to be buried.  After this, internet and tv is once again up.
  

• 1/20/2008:

• Being that I hadn't received any formal notification that the installation was still happening on the 23rd, I decided to call to ensure it was still scheduled.  Surprise, it wasn't.  I then spent the next hour, just a bit frustrated, and ended up with YET ANOTHER installation date on the 30th. 
  
• It seems when I canceled my service call (when internet and tv was down) on the 2nd, the operator instead canceled my phone installation ticket.  Joy.
  
• However, I was told I'd receive a $50 credit on the first month of phone service and then $10 off the next 6 months to cover the cost of continuing internet and phone service through my "current" provider.
• 1/21/2008:
• While burying the new cable from the curb to my house, AT&T mistakenly? cut Time Warner's cable...that was, until that point, still supplying internet and thereby phone service.  I scheduled Time Warner to come out on the 23rd.  
• By the way, Time Warner was more than happy to come out on the 22nd but I had a scheduling conflict.
• 1/23/2008:
• Time Warner showed up on time, fixed the cable and then charged me $35 for doing so.  I again had phone service, until...
• Time Warner cut the phone service.  When I called Time Warner I was told they had an order from AT&T to transfer the service on 2/12/2008.  I politely told them 2/12 was 20 days away.  The response was their policy is to cut service as soon as an order is placed, not when it's requested to do so.  This is a ridiculous way to treat (even soon to be ex) customers.  I was then told I'd have to have AT&T request for it to be turned back on.
• I then spent at least 2 hours dealing with AT&T trying to figure out 1) what happened to the 30th, 2) why in hell am I in the middle of this mess and 3) why should I have to wait 7 days?, 20 days? for service I ordered almost 2 months ago?!  I was finally told the 30th was my installation date, nothing could be done...
• 1/26/2008:
• I receive a call from AT&T stating that they couldn't install my phone on the 30th and it would have to wait until 2/12.  I can't remember what transpired over the next 30 or so minutes but I know at least part of my continued, some would say loud response was for them to "figure it out, the date is the 30th".
• 1/30/2008:
• Wouldn't you know it, no one showed up to install my phone service.
• 2/4/2008:
• I sadly called AT&T to see when, maybe, possibly, by chance someone was scheduled to install phone service, if not on the 12th, when.  I was told that the system showed they should have been out on 1/30, but 2/12 is still scheduled as well.  I chuckled like The Joker but felt like Billy Bob in Slingblade.  I asked if they could move the date up as I haven't had phone service for close to 2 weeks.  I was told due to the time, they'd call back tomorrow with either an earlier date or a confirmation that the 12th is still valid.

My wife sat down on  the couch  next to me as I was flipping channels. She  asked, 'What's on  TV?'

I said,  'Dust.'

And then the fight  started...
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My wife was hinting about what she  wanted for  our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3  seconds.'

I bought her a  scale.

And then the fight   started...
 
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded  that I  take her someplace expensive...so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight  started...

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security   office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind  the counter  asked me for my driver's license to verify  my age. I looked in my  pockets and realized I had left  my wallet at home. I told the woman that  I was very  sorry, but I would have to go home and come back  later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.  So I  opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She  said,  'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough  for me' and she  processed my Social Security   application.

When I got home, I  excitedly told  my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have  dropped your  pants. You might have gotten disability,  too.'

And then the fight  started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My  wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,'  I  sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a  person could go on celebrating that long?'

And  then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for  some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the  mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight  started...

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A  woman is standing nude, looking  in the bedroom mirror.  She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat  and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started...

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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.  He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why  were you running?'

And then the fight  started...

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered  that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started...

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I  asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?  "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"  she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight  started...

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My wife and I are  watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire while we were in bed.  I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have  sex?"

"No," she   answered.

I then said, "Is that your final  answer?"

She didn't even look at  me this time,  simply saying "Yes."

So I  said, "Then I'd like to phone a  friend."

And that's when the fight started...

No Moe Bush